Embrace the chaos.

There's a lot of unpredictability being a parent. You never know if it's going to be a fussy day or a happy day. You want to get out of the house, but you're afraid that they'll have a meltdown. But Hazel girl is teaching me to embrace the chaos. Every day is different, full of ups & downs and ins & outs, and I have to deal with the unknown and the wild when I'm raising a little life.

Moms are powerful.

Sometimes people tell me "oh look, she's mesmerized with her mama!" when Hazel is looking at me. I usually think to myself "no, she's just looking at someone who's nearby." - not really feeling like I'm that powerful. But when I think about my own mom, and how what she says affects me so much, what she says matters, what she does I watched all those years (and still do), I remember that moms are powerful. I'm not only the one who feeds and watches Hazel, but I'm also her mom. And that's a pretty big deal.

You worry too much.

Today Hazel had her 2-month check up and she got her shots. I was SO worried (read the risks and possible side effects when I shouldn't have). We prayed a lot, asked for prayer from friends and family, and went to the appointment like champs. My mom was with me (aka Grammacilla) and that helped, too. Hazel cried and had the saddest face I think I've ever seen - but when we got in the car she zonked out and was a good sleeper, calm as can be the rest of the day. I was so proud of my girl. She was tough as nails, and took it like a champ. I worry too much, don't I, Hazel?

It always gets better.

Hazel had a few rough hours, a few rough feedings and one or two rough nights recently. It got me frustrated and feeling hopeless pretty quickly. But of course she followed those rough patches up by several full nights of sleep that had me feeling renewed again. It always gets better, huh Hazel!

Take time to read.

Today I read Hazel the first few pages of her Jesus Storybook Bible that our church gave to her. She patiently and intently listened to me as I read to her the simple, kid-like interpretation of the Bible - and of course I wept. It was an amazing time with my baby girl to be reading her those words. So powerful, so true.

Be brave.

Today was my first outing with Hazel by myself - we ventured 40 minutes down the 5 freeway to see Aunt Jamie and cousin Maddie. I was scared as all get out (aside from the power being out at our house all day). But I packed up my diaper bag to the brim, loaded us girls in the car, grabbed Starbucks drive-thru to feel like I was treating myself, and hopped on the freeway. We had a GREAT visit, I laughed and felt like myself again! Hazel taught me today to be brave, I am stronger than I think.

Every day is different.

I love routine. I always have - I love knowing what's coming next, taking the same route to work everyday, heading to the same lunch spots on my break, having a good routine. But with Hazel girl, every day is different. Some days are great, some days are terrible. Some days I feel energetic, some days exhausted. Some days breastfeeding works, some days it absolutely does not. I have never had so much variety in my days in all my life, but Hazel is teaching me!